so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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