i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
