haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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