I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize