so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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