brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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