I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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