I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
