I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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