I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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