Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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