A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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