happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize
