im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
