dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
