TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
