Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
