Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
