chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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