i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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