Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
