Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
