All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize