let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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