i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
