first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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