So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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