Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
