It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
you're hired as official boob wrangler
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
