lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
