dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
