why didn't you poke me back
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
