i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
