just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize