grandma shit on top of the toilet
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
