You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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