scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
