So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
