Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
