So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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