Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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