Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
