I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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