You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize