Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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