I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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