you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
