I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize