She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
