Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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