dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
