Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
