the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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