So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
