I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
