i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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