What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
sex in a hospital.. check
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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