I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize