Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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