there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize