Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
