If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There r osticjed everywhere
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
