just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
