Will you blow on my dice?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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