I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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