You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Shame - the story of my life.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
