I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
kristin has been a bad kristin
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
