I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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