I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
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That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
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I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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