My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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