I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
